The Confrontation Format

Confronting someone is an important skill because it:

1) Helps them become aware of how they impact others

2) Lets them know a boundary has been crossed

3) Sets the stage for a boundary to be offered and/ or reinforced

4) Serves as practice for self- advocacy

5) Promotes resolution in the relationship

6) Results in a strong relational bond

Here is a tried and true format to promote productive conversation, that can lead to resolution, when one person needs to confront another (notice the emphasis on using "I statements":

CONFRONTATION FORMAT/ “I Statements” Person #1: When you ___ I feel/felt ___ Person #2 – I hear that when I ___ you feel/felt ____ . At the time I was feeling ___ and hearing this now I feel ____. Person #1 – Hearing that, I feel ____.