It's Ok to Have Eating Disorder Thoughts (No Matter How Much Treatment You've Had.)
It can feel incredibly frustrating and worrisome when, BOOM, an intrusive eating disorder thought pops into your awareness, seemingly out of nowhere. Sometimes it's an obvious one ("Oh, I feel so ____ I want to restrict right now.) Other times, it's more subtle and hard to catch ("you can't go in there" when walking by a donut shop).
I work with some pretty exceptional human beings. If you are anything like them, you are driven, focused, high-functioning,. and powerful. You're extremely intelligent, a quick-learner, and take pride in your work. Maybe you have a little perfectionist in you, too. You hold yourself to high standards, and tend to be self-critical when you fall short. What you need to keep in mind is: This can set you up for unrealistic goals and expectations regarding what recovery will "look like."
No matter how much work you have done in the service of your recovery, you are hard-wired to respond to emotion in certain ways. Your recovery won't always look the same, because your environment and stressors (or lack thereof) won't always be the same. You might feel frustrated that, even as far along as you are, you still have slips and urges. Allow me to normalize that.... because that is recovery.
Do not rush your recovery.
There's no timeline for the milestones in your recovery. Your mind and your body are working hard not only to heal from the past, but to give you what you're presently asking for. Trust your body's pace. You won't always hit your recovery "dead on" every day. It's just like driving. We aren't always right at the speed limit! Sometimes we are over, sometimes we are under. But at the end of the day, as long as we make it to our destination safely, it's all good.
Want to work together? I provide traditional psychotherapy as well as shorter, less-intensive recovery-coaching sessions. You can find my contact information up top or feel free to reach out via Chat!