You have been doing your part by staying home. You have been limiting your grocery store outings, and buying less than usual, both to leave resources for others and because, a lot of times, your store is out of the items you need. If you’re following a meal plan, you may not have the exact components that you need, for every snack or meal.
Your eating disorder is thrilled! It's going to take advantage of this situation, and urge you not to go to the grocery store at all. It's going to remind you how comforting it is to feel "empty." It's going to magnify the dangers of leaving the house, and tell you the safest thing to do is stay inside and restrict.
You have also been doing your part, however, by checking in with yourself and your supports. You may even be continuing your therapy and dietary sessions virtually. Although you want to stick to your recovery commitments, the scarcity of food around you makes it feel hard.
For anyone that needs to hear this, this is for you: You have permission to not do this perfectly.
You have permission to be creative, to make substitutes, and you have permission to feel more anxious than usual about all of it. Your eating disorder wants you to believe that because your protein is not organic, it's dangerous. It wants you to believe that your body cannot process bread unless it's whole-wheat. These are food rules, and they were put in place to imprison you.
But look, you're already in prison: you are stuck in your house, with restricted access to the things in life that are worth living for. You don't need to make your world even smaller than it already is.
The only dietary rule you need is one that you likely already know; but let me remind you: A starch is a starch. This fat will count for a fat, the same way your "safe" one does. A protein is a protein.
