Recovery isn't something that happens on accident or once we have put "enough time" into treatment. Treatment, for example, is often a necessary first step to help us lay the foundation for change, but that in and of itself is not enough. Once we have made the changes we need to make, learned the things we didn't know, and implemented new skills and coping plans to make the change sustainable, it's always a good idea to set up a support system of checks and balances.
Tell your therapist, a trusted friend, send yourself an email, or write in your journal. Accountability is all about owning the things we do— both those in the service of our recovery goals, and those that serve the eating disorder.
Accountability often brings shame, which is a hard emotion for us to feel. But your eating disorder is a bully and it wants you to stay silent. It depends on your silence to thrive. That’s how it maintains it’s power, right?
But if you tell on it, you’re not weak, you’re not a “tattle tale.” You’re strong, in fact, for doing the harder thing. By telling on your eating disorder you’re standing up for yourself: you’re showing your eating disorder who *actually* has the power.